I am so proud of my man, who is committing himself to the only path that makes sense. I am fortunate to have watched him grow and blossom as a musician, and I can't wait to see what he next chapter has in store.
I've watched this man move through the various stages of his musical career, and I've watched him continually put his dreams on the back burner. I've seen him struggle through band breakups, I've witnessed the joy of meeting like-minded musicians, and I've tried to understand and be supportive when he's been unsatisfied musically. I've been there for spectacular shows, I've been there for shows when I can tell by the look on his face he's not pleased. I've sat through countless practices, sound checks, load ins and load outs. Although the title of "band girlfriend" sounds more glamorous than it is, there is still, eleven years later, a little magic in knowing that I get to go home with that guitar player.
Last year, I realized my guitar player was unraveling. Somehow I missed the warning signs, failed to see the pain and the daily struggle, and because of my blindness I nearly lost this man who I've built my life around. Thankfully, we committed ourselves to facing the storm together, and I was able to see how music helped him find his way in the darkness. He would sit for hours just listening to music, watching videos, and I remember him talking about how the music only he could hear kept him company during the long hours of waiting in the hospital.
When we were just young kids, barely old enough to buy a fifth at the ABC, our paths crossed. A simple friendship was born, but the more I got to know this shy, reserved young man, the more I saw his raw and odd sense of humor, his depth of emotion, his rare gifts. At the time, DH was early in his self discovery through music. He had been playing guitar for only a few years, but obviously had a gift for it. Guitar players are an attractive bunch, but one with the ability to pen soulful, expressive lyrics was especially attractive to me. I remember being more and more attracted to him each time I saw him on stage, and even more so when I watched him scribble out a song, sitting on the couch with his body curled over his guitar to reach the spiral notebook in front of him (a notebook we still own, in fact).
|2003 - Moments like this caught my attention, |
and he still has the ability to captivate me when he's on stage.
As we came out of that painful chapter in our lives, as we turned the page on the past, my love began to fill page after page of his notebook with fresh music. For weeks, I fell asleep to the lullaby of guitar strings and his soulful voice finding the notes and the words. In what seemed like the blink of an eye, he had written enough material to fill an album.
Now we are starting a whole new chapter in our lives, feeling mostly recovered from our traumas, and the future looks bright. Last night my dear husband announced to the blogosphere that he is launching a new career - the only career he should have ever considered. My man has always been a singer and a songwriter, and he's finally giving those gifts the credit they deserve. I hate that it took traveling through the long, lonely darkness to get to this point, but in many ways that darkness was a necessary evil. It has brought this family to where we are today, and it has finally lifted enough for my dear man to see his path. I am so proud, and so excited to help him navigate this path.